Starting Over
Though I don’t always feel that I’m very good at expressing myself through words, I do believe that writing our thoughts and feelings is extremely healthy.
I’ve been writing blogs the last few years now. At first I wrote about my time at whatever young life camp I was at but now I’ve been writing about coming out and how that’s changed my life, for the better.
I wrote a blog titled “Pink Flamingos” which was mostly about being grateful for finally landing my dream job at Lost Canyon in Arizona and how lucky I felt to be there but also lucky to have people who supported me in that dream. It was about 2 years till I wrote again and that blog was titled “Uneven Odds” which was my coming out story and leaving young life. From there it was mostly about me grieving this time I spent with an organization that at one time gave me so much life but realizing how much life I was missing because I was being untrue to myself.
Heartbreak is a bitch. It’s something I’ve learned a lot about in the last few years and it’s something we all experience in a lot of ways and unfortunately some more than others. It’s interesting how we don’t wish heartbreak on anyone but yet it really is inevitable and truly does teach us so much. I used to think that my heart break and loss with young life meant I was owed something from the world or people or whatever. I held onto this hurt and would use it on the people close to me. The dark nights and even days were awful. I’ve been so angry.
When I moved to Phoenix I finally was just Liz. No young life. No family or friends who knew me my entire life. It was almost the fresh start I needed. I made a completely new friend group. I even fell in love. The life I found and created here was something that my little heart never knew could be so good. I’ll be honest with you though, shit ain’t easy. Heartbreak has found its way here. Lost love, lost friends, figuring out a career, missing my family and friends. Let me tell you this, shit is worth it. Do I want to hurt? Hell no. Do I want to feel lost at times? Hell no. BUT THANK YOU UNIVERSE for getting me here. I’m okay and this is why…..
I’m finding myself everyday. I’m realizing that this little organization that pushed me out faster than I could blink isn’t the end all be all. It isn’t worth losing myself too or making others feel excluded. Do Better YoungLife has captured my heart and pulled me out of a dark time. I never realized how many hurt like I did and I’m thankful for the people who shared and continue to share their stories. We are better for being true to ourselves. There is no organization or person that can take that for you or me. We are worth it.
Trust me, it’s a struggle sometimes and like I said heartbreak always finds us. Remember to give yourself some grace. Give yourself time. Chose to be you and chose to be kind. When we fall, we will rise.
bio:
Liz was a part of Young Life since she was in high school (2007). She did everything from being a volunteer to full time staff. When she left she was on property staff at Lost Canyon in 2017.
Liz now lives in Phoenix, Arizona and works for Sunstate Equipment.
Find more of Liz’s writing at https://elizabethgarciablog.wordpress.com/